Even Angels Fall
by terfle
Summary: The sequel to 'Angel of Crystal.' Sissi demands answers from her aunt. What is Milady hiding?
1. Chapter 1

**So here is my sequel to 'Angel of Crystal.' I wanted to write more about the background of Milady and her niece. This takes place 2 years after the events in the 'Angel of Crystal.' Sissi wants to find out more about her early life and Milady is the key to it all. Athos finds out more than he bargains for. **

Sissi took a breath and walked up the stairs to the big double doors. She could feel her heart beating frantically. She couldn't wait to go inside. When she quizzed her aunt, she was told that she had been born in a Carmelite convent in La Rochelle. Her mother had never talked about the details of her birth with her and she was curious. She was in La Rochelle for now and she had every intention of investigating, for there was only one convent here. Dark and forbidding, it rose up through the trees and pierced the sky with its tall spire.

She pulled at the old fashioned doorbell and waited. After a minute, a tall young nun came to open the door and welcome her inside. They walked through the dim corridors together.

'What would you be looking for, girl?' Her voice was pleasant, high and fluting, matching her kind face and merry eyes. 'Spirituality, reflection, peace? We have plenty of that.' She chuckled.

'Actually I've come to see if I was registered here. I was told the nuns kept unofficial birth records from the babies that had been born here.'

'That's true. I'll take you over to the one who keeps the records.' She ushered her to a small room where an elderly nun was sitting at a desk. 'Here is Sister Constance. She will take you through your records if you were born here.'

Sister Constance smiled at the engaging creature in front of her, tall with intense blue eyes and russet hair in a long plait over her shoulder. 'Come child, sit here and give me your name.' Sissi warmed to her at once. She gave her full name and watched as Sister Constance looked through the records painstakingly, in alphabetical order. 'Here we are. Elisabeth, isn't it?' She handed over the frail folder.

Sissi took it eagerly and thanked her. With trembling fingers, she opened the cover and looked at her details. It was a silly thing but she had been told virtually nothing about her birth and she wanted something to feel closer to her mother, who she hadn't been on the best of terms with when she died. She was fifteen when her parents had died in a train crash and her aunt had been her next guardian. She had told her everything she could about her mother Eugenie but Sissi wanted more. She was at the age where she was to start thinking about marriage and children and she wanted to gain the feeling of becoming a mother in preparing for what was sure to happen in the next few years.

A few pictures fell out of the folder and she picked them back up and looked at them. It didn't hold her birth certificate, although she knew that already. That was commissioned later; the nuns had only recorded the babies' when they were born. But there were pictures too, of newborns and their mothers.

'I didn't know you took pictures.'

'It's a well kept secret' smiled Sister Constance. 'We are lucky enough to have a camera here and we take pictures of the new mothers in case they want something to take home.'

'Why haven't I seen these pictures before?' In the sepia photograph there sat a young girl on a bed, arms wrapped around a tiny bundle. Her mother had never looked so young, Sissi thought. She had been married at seventeen, was twenty when Sissi had been born, the age she had passed a year ago now. She had been called a miracle, for her parents never had any more and she was an only child.

She studied the photograph intently. She remembered her mother's hair to be tied back in a bun all the time but here, her hair was long and loose, framing her face and sweeping down her back in waves. She was looking down at the baby in her arms with an expression Sissi couldn't place. Had she looked a little different back then? Maybe the photograph was a little blurry.

'I expect she forgot to pick them up after you were born. These records are an old fashioned way of documenting births. I'm sure they'll do away with it soon.'

Sissi nodded absentmindedly. Just as she closed the folder, something caught her eye. Opening it back up again, she examined it. A thin gold chain was caught at the bottom and she teased it out of its hiding place, untwisted it in the air and looked at it. It had a tiny pendant on it, a little heart, half coated in turquoise stone.

'That must be hers I suppose' said Sister Constance.

'I've never seen it before.'

'She must have left it behind. That happens.'

Sissi looked up. 'Thank you, you've been so helpful. I must get going now.'

'You're welcome. Come back if you have any questions.'

Sissi nodded and walked out, tucking the folder in her bag and the necklace in her pocket. The tall nun saw her to the door. 'You found what you wanted?'

'Yes, just what I was looking for, thank you.'

Out on the street, Elisabeth felt a sense of elation. Just wait until she showed it to her aunt. She hadn't seen this either and would hopefully begin to identify the necklace. Sissi wanted to wear it already. Taking it out of her pocket, she looked at it thoughtfully. It was pretty. Unclasping it, she drew it around her neck and closed it. The pendant felt a little heavy against her skin and she could swear that she could feel something coming from it. As she walked back to the hotel she was staying at, she felt a flicker of apprehension. For nothing, she reminded herself sternly. What had she to be nervous of?


	2. Chapter 2

Getting off the train at Marseilles, she took a taxi back to her new home, the house her aunt had bought on the outskirts of town. Milady was in and welcomed her with open arms. Sissi made no mention of her trip to the convent. Sitting down to lunch, she was asked about her trip.

'It was nice. I just walked around, saw the sights, you know' said Sissi, through a mouthful of salad.

'No talking while you're eating' scolded Milady gently. Her niece rolled her eyes and carried on.

'When is Athos coming?' She asked, by way of deflecting conversation from her. Her aunt had recently written to the former musketeer, once her ex husband and he was coming to stay in the next few days.

'Tomorrow morning.'

'I'll be sure to be out of the house then.' Milady gave her a look that could wither a cactus. Sissi was used to it and carried on eating. Athos would take of her aunt's attention away from her at least. She could have been jealous but how could she? Her aunt had previously given up her chance to be with Athos, many years ago, for reasons Sissi still didn't know. They had gotten involved with each other once more and every so often over the two years he had been back in her life, he came to stay. Recently retired from the King's service, he was teaching what he had learned over his years in the secret service to younger apprentices in Paris. They were discreet but Sissi knew that when she was out, they would withdraw to Milady's bedroom at their leisure. He stayed in the spare room at first but when Sissi told them they could do what they liked, she didn't care; they stopped pretending and retired to bed together. She often wished that he stay longer to make her aunt happy but he couldn't always. And she liked him. As much as she had adored the uncle she had known growing up, Maxim de Winter who was the second man Milady had married, Athos was good enough a replacement for an uncle.


	3. Chapter 3

Sissi didn't look at the file tucked away in her writing desk for a while. Athos had arrived the next day and the rest of the week was spent basking in the garden in the warm weather that had followed.

Athos lounged in his chair and felt at peace. Milady looked beautiful today in a pale blue dress, her hair like burnished copper in the sun. He wished she would let it loose so he could nestle his fingers in the soft waves but he knew she wouldn't let him unless they were alone. As Sissi got up to get more lemonade, he stroked her cheek and she closed her eyes with a contented sigh, remembering the last time they had spent alone together. Athos didn't dare move closer, the anticipation between them was shimmering in the heat like fairy dust.

Sissi came back and flumped into her chair, spilling lemonade on the ground. Milady tutted for a moment and then left it. She really couldn't care about that, not when the sun was out and Athos was here.

'I'm going out tonight' Sissi reminded them on purpose. Milady languidly waved her hand in acknowledgement. 'You think I don't know that? You've been talking about this party for days, of course I know what you are going to wear, who is coming to pick you up, which boys you'll dance with…'

'Haha very funny.' Sissi made a face at Athos who was smirking slightly. 'These young ladies' he grumbled light heartedly. 'So many things to do, so many things to dress up in, to adorn yourself with. So complicated.'

'You would never make it as a lady' teased his own lady. 'I should hope not' he responded in mock horror. 'Can you see me in a pink dress with frilly things and bits of lace everywhere?'

'We could get you a hat to cover your face. A big pink one to match the dress' suggested Sissi, evoking a snort of laughter from her aunt. 'Aunt Sabine, make him a pink hat.'

'I'll leave' warned Athos.

'Oh stop it Sissi, don't be ridiculous' reprimanded Milady sternly. 'His colour is more blue, we should make him a blue hat and dress instead.' The women laughed like they would cry and Athos, taking the joke in his stride, hid a smile behind his hand. He was still getting used to the light hearted side of Milady but he enjoyed the jokes all the same. He looked at Sissi, so much like her aunt. They had the same bright blue eyes and they both wrinkled their noses when they laughed. He had pointed out the similarities a long time ago. But then he knew something that Sissi didn't.

'Let's stay in tonight' he suggested quietly in her ear. She chuckled throatily and tipped her head back into the sun, the light glowing on her radiant face, her eyes closed. With a featherlike touch of a finger, Athos traced the fine lines that framed her eyes, an atlas of her joys and mainly sorrows. Several years without him were subtly mapped out on her face. Athos knew that his face also betrayed his age but he didn't care. Vain he was not. They were older now but not so old that they could forget what love was before and how it could be now.

Athos turned his head and saw Sissi watching over the top of her glass. He was self-conscious of the affection he was showing. He still couldn't get used to it, after years of being alone.

'You won't be stuck for something to do tonight at any rate' she said impishly.

'Enough of that' her aunt reprimanded, eyes still closed against the sun.


	4. Chapter 4

Dressing in her room, Sissi was deciding on her jewelry for the evening. She had the gold pendant that her aunt had given her for her twentieth birthday. She also had the old charm bracelet and earring set. She debated on the pearl earrings. Touching her neck, she remembered the turquoise heart hidden under her bodice. Taking it out, she examined it carefully, holding it up to the light. There was a chipped bit on the side like it had been thrown or dropped on the floor. The other half was gold plated and caught the light with a glow. Almost entranced by it, Sissi didn't hear the knock on the door. Milady looked in, wondering how much longer her niece needed.

'Everything alright?'

Sissi jumped and turned round guiltily. 'Er, yes. Just wondered what to wear.'

'The green dress, obviously' said Milady, bemused eyes sweeping over the tall figure standing in front of her dressing mirror. 'And…the gold shoes.'

'Haha very funny.' Sissi hastily shoved the necklace in the nearest box. 'I need to find some jewelry to match.'

'Well, how about something gold? What about your birthday necklace?'

'But what earrings shall I wear?' Pouted Sissi.

Her aunt walked to her dressing table and surveyed the boxes. Hoping that she wouldn't open the one she had hidden the turquoise necklace in, Sissi nervously waited. Milady picked up a pair rarely worn, tiny bows and handed them over. 'What do you think?' Sissi put them on and wondered why she never bothered with them before. They were nice. Shifting her eyes to the reflection behind her, she was surprised to find her aunt looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite decipher.

'What's wrong?' she turned around.

'Nothing.' Milady tried to wipe all emotion from her face but she couldn't manage it quickly enough. There stood a beautiful young woman replacing the girl she had once been.

'You just look so grown up. I can't believe it's already time for you to go to parties on your own' she said, brushing back a stray lock from the careful twist in Sissi's hair.

'Oh stop fussing, I'll be going to lots of these now, you've got to get used to it' teased Sissi, waiting for a witty reply back. But none came. Milady couldn't speak for fear she might betray her sudden feelings. Sissi's smile faded and she took her aunt's hand in hers. 'Is everything alright? Do you want me to stay tonight?'

'Of course not!' Exclaimed Milady. 'I wouldn't think of it.' She had managed to keep her voice under control but she knew she had given herself away. She needed to act like the role she was meant to play, the overbearing aunt, but she couldn't bring herself to, not when she wanted Sissi to have what she never did.

'You are going to this party and you are going to have fun' she instructed her firmly. 'I won't hear of anything else, understood?' Sissi nodded. 'Now finish and let's go. You don't want to be late.'

'It's fashionable to be late' objected Sissi as she selected a perfume and handbag and threw a wrap over her shoulders. Milady took that to mean that she would be back late too and asked as a precaution.

'More than likely.'

'Well then, I'll come to pick you up at around dawn then.'

'If you must.'

Milady stifled a smile. Sissi liked to be one of the last ones left at the party. That girl was out to have a good time.


	5. Chapter 5

Athos found her by the window, looking out into the darkness. He approached quietly, so not to disturb her but she turned around anyway and smiled. He wrapped his fingers around hers and kissed them. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

'There's no need to be worried about her. She's an expert at parties now.'

'Tell me something I don't know.'

'I'm more worried about the boys she'll wrap around her little finger.' She nudged him gently in the ribs.

'Ouch. This wasn't the game I was thinking of playing tonight.'

'Oh. So what will it be? Scrabble?'

'Oh please. You know I beat you at that any time.'

'Fine. Monopoly.'

'I hate that game.'

'You're being picky now.'

They carried on teasing each other until Athos gently unclasped the clip from her hair and unwound it, letting the curtain of silk swish over the back of the chair. She tipped her head back and accepted a tender kiss from him. He slid his arms around her and she slowly stood up, taking his hand and taking charge, taking him to her bed.

She slid one hand to his cheek and pulled him forward to kiss him languorously, the other hand unbuttoning his shirt which he gladly shrugged off. He slipped the straps of her chemise off of her shoulders and inched the ivory silk off bit by bit, taking his time, covering her skin in slow tingling strokes. She laid her head on the pillow and surrendered to his touch, welcomed the warmth and sensation that he brought into her bed. How she'd missed him.

They fell asleep while midnight came creeping in, her head on his chest, his arms encircling her.


	6. Chapter 6

Sissi was still sleeping while they ate breakfast in the garden the next morning. The sun was out and Milady felt her heart lift again. It felt like nothing bad would happen again and she could almost believe it. Athos kept his fingers entwined with hers, they were still alone and he wanted to make the most of it.

'I think the party girl will need some tlc later chuckled Milady. 'Perhaps I should take her some tea' she mused.

'Let her be' replied Athos. 'We have some time before she wakes.'

'How much time do we need?' Teased Milady.

Athos leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, enveloping her in a sudden burst of passion. The tea cooled and the butter melted on the table, but nothing mattered more than what was between them.

Catching her breath, Milady wrestled herself from his amorous grasp and jumped away from him just as he started tickling her mercilessly. Giggling, she ran into the kitchen to make some tea for her niece.

A pair of hands snaked around her waist and pulled her to him. Squealing in mock fright, Milady dodged him again, leading him to the living room. He chased after her and landed somewhat conveniently on the sofa, arms around each other, lips on skin, breathing in each other's scent. She tapped the hand that was trying to loosen the shoulder of her dress down; Athos desisted for a few moments, grumbling that she wouldn't let him have any fun. 'We had plenty of fun last night' she reminded him severely 'or did you forget already?' Athos grinned, he remembered every bit of it. 'Can't hurt to have some more' he told her, while tickling her off the sofa. They ended up on the floor, her hair in a mess, his shirt dusty. 'Sort yourself out' she said primly, redoing her hair. Athos gave her another kiss and went back to the garden to finish off his cold breakfast. Milady made a cup of tea to bring upstairs.

Tiptoeing up to Sissi's room, Milady opened her door quietly and slipped inside. There was a chink in the curtain that let in a gleam of sunlight but otherwise, all was dark. Listening to the soft breathing, Milady put the cup down on the dressing table and absentmindedly tidied away the boxes and cosmetics that had been left lying around. Sissi was never the most tidiest of people.

Sissi turned over with a rustle of the duvet and a sleepy sigh. Wandering over to look at her, Milady felt her elation evaporating away and a kind of peace seeping in to replace it. Sissi was beautiful even when asleep; her eyelashes long against her cheek, hair all around her like a mermaid, with long graceful neck. Milady stroked away some strands of hair that had fallen across her face.

Turning back to the dressing table, she put things away softly, hoping not to wake the sleeping beauty in her bed. Turning over things and looking at them, she wondered why she hadn't seen some of them before. There was some jewelry there she hadn't bought her niece. Perhaps they were from some admirer. She hoped not. Sissi needed some time to think about her future husband, not settle on the first man she met. Thankfully she showed no signs of settling just yet.

Threading some necklaces through her fingers, she idly turned her mind to the ring Athos had given her when he asked her to marry him. She had given it back to him, left it on the table on her way out. She hadn't seen it since.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she sighed. She certainly didn't look that age any more. Smiling ruefully at her reflection, she placed the trinkets where they belonged and prepared to leave. But something had caught her eye. Something shimmering gold. No surprise there, most of Sissi's jewelry was gold but she saw a flash of blue peeping through the chink in the lid and was curious. Lifting out the necklace from a little box on the side, she held it up to the light and a shock ran through her. The heart spun round in a lazy circle, catching the sunlight. As though hypnotized, Milady stared until a sudden noise brought her back to her senses. She moved her eyes to the mirror. Sissi was sitting up and watching her.

'What are you doing?'


	7. Chapter 7

A number of answers ran through Milady's head, none of them very satisfactory. Sissi was sitting there waiting for an answer.

'I made you some tea.'

'Ok, thanks.' Sissi looked around for it. Realising she'd left it in front of her, she passed it over. Sissi took a lazy sip and regarded her aunt ambivalently. She waited. So did Milady.

Sissi gave up. Milady was way too good at staying silent. 'What time is it?'

'Nearly ten o'clock.'

'I suppose I'd better get up.'

'Breakfast is ready.'

'Ok.' Milady gathered herself to go.

'Did you tidy up my room? It looks suspiciously clean.'

Milady paused at the door. 'Just a little bit.'

'Anything of interest?'

'Some pretty things I've never noticed before.'

'Like?' Sissi tried to sound casual even though her heart started beating faster than usual. Milady shrugged. 'A couple of necklaces there I don't remember giving you.' She looked over and saw Sissi staring into her tea.

'I got it from a friend' she murmured.

'Which one?'

Sissi looked up. Her aunt's face looked innocent enough but she remembered dreaming of a flash of blue just before she woke up and she was sure that the necklace from the convent was the cause. Milady had seen it.

'Never mind.'


	8. Chapter 8

She dressed and came down. Milady was alone in the garden, sitting in her chair with a cup in her hand and an expression Sissi couldn't discern on her face. Sissi sat and said nothing. They sat in silence until Athos walked in.

'I'm going into town, do you want anything?' He kissed Milady on the cheek.

'Nothing for me.'

'Sissi?'

'No.'

Athos looked between the two ladies and realized there wasn't something quite right with them. He decided to leave it.

'See you later.'

The silence lay oppressively over the garden, casting shadows in their sun. Sissi looked over at her aunt and detected a tension that hadn't been there before. She had a feeling it was something to do with the necklace. She felt sneaky for keeping it from her aunt even though it wasn't a big deal. It was her mother's necklace wasn't it? And she had wanted Aunt Sabine to tell her about it, all about her mother. About what she like when she was young, before she had become a forbidding overprotective mother. She figured she might as well start now and introduce the necklace later even though she was puzzling why her aunt hadn't recognized it when she had held it up to the light.

'What was my mother like when she was young?'

Milady frowned briefly. 'She was much like she was as you knew her.' She looked over Sissi over the top of her cup, perplexed at the direction this conversation was taking. Sissi's face fell. She hadn't thought of that. She had hoped her mother was something like she was. She wanted to connect to her but was finding it difficult, especially during the last few years that Sissi had with her parents. She had sided with her aunt more than ever which hadn't pleased them. Eugenie had all but banned her from mentioning Milady, not least looking forward to her visits in England. But Sissi was tired of being the dutiful daughter and that little streak of rebellion that had worked its way to the surface ignited way too often, causing the cracks in their relationship to break open. The guilt that Sissi had felt when they had died was immense, knowing that she couldn't undo the harsh words she had last said to them. She pressed her aunt for more.

'You remember your mother, surely?' Milady looked at her niece with concern. How could she have forgotten her parents so easily? She knew there had been a divide with Eugenie in particular but she couldn't believe Sissi had deleted the memory of them almost completely.

'I just want to know what she was like when you knew her. As a sister.'

Milady mused for a bit. What could she say about her mean, backstabbing, self righteous sister? Well, nothing she could tell her niece certainly. But she didn't want to lie entirely. She sipped her cold tea, playing for time.

'She wasn't an impulsive person. She liked everything neat and structured.' That bit was true. Sissi rolled her eyes. 'I know that. What else?'

Milady looked at her sternly. 'I know you didn't get on with her the last couple of years.'

'She wanted me to be something I wasn't.'

'She loved you. She wanted the best for you.'

'She never left me alone.'

'That was the way she knew how to care for you.'

Sissi looked mutinous.

'Why couldn't she have let me be how I am? You do.'

Milady looked regretful for a moment.

'I'm not your mother, she was. And it's easy to wish someone else was your mother but it doesn't mean that things wouldn't change if they were. You can't choose your family.'

'Tell me about it' muttered Sissi into her cup. Milady leaned forward and took it away. Holding her niece's chin with a finger, she made sure of her attention. 'It was difficult for her, having to take care of us when our parents died. She was like my mother. But she wanted to have her own children. And when you came along, she treated you like she knew how to.'

'Like she treated you, you mean?'

Milady frowned. She hadn't meant to make a comparison. She wanted to make Sissi believe that Eugenie had loved her like her mother. But it wasn't easy considering her late sister's manner towards her.

'Not like that.'

'But that's what you said. If she was like with me, then she was like that with you too.'

Milady's face softened with a slight smile. 'Well it's different with your child. Your child means everything to you. For your child, you must be prepared to do anything. That's what being a parent means. You can't blame her for being a little distant as you grew up. She wasn't prepared for it. You were coming to the age I was when I met Athos so she must have been getting a little nervous. I suppose she didn't know how to handle it then and when I got married, I took myself off her hands. So she had one less thing to worry about. Do you understand why she was like she was?'

Sissi nodded gravely.

'It's normal to fight with your mother about things. She was the adult and you were the child, but when you started growing up, the boundaries weren't so clear anymore. It's not easy for a parent to admit that their child needs them less every year. Try to understand that.'

'Did you?'

'As I said, it's different with your child than with anyone else. How our relationship was isn't relevant.'

She sat back in her chair and resumed drinking her tea. Sissi wasn't entirely satisfied with that but she had something new to add to her sparse collection of information. And she had loved her mother; she had been attached to her once upon a time, when she was young enough to hang onto her skirt. But these memories were very blurred and a lot of her very early childhood had been spent with her aunt as her parents went away a lot. Aunt Sabine was the one who had played with her, ate breakfast with her, soothed away the nightmares and attended to her much of that time. There was room for more than one mother figure in one's life and her aunt filled that role admirably. She had only admitted something like that once before and it had cost her dearly in Eugenie's eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Milady knew it was only a matter of time before Sissi would come to her own conclusions. The girl wasn't stupid; she knew that Eugenie wasn't quite the paragon she had been lead to believe. But sometimes it was difficult to separate the mother out of her sister.

It was a particularly touchy subject after she had heard of the argument that had come about shortly before Eugenie's death, Sissi shouting at her that she had wished that she hadn't been born to them, the inference was clear. The last time Milady had seen her sister, she had been greeted with a chilly wall of hatred that had been put up upon realising the acknowledgment that Sissi much preferred being with her aunt than her own mother. Milady knew how much that hurt and she didn't try to stop the poisonous anger and jealousy that poured out from Eugenie's eyes and heart, she just let it submerge her, quietly fighting against it drowning her in its murky depths. Sissi had never understood that but then again, she hadn't been of the age to understand everything and Milady had kept her promise like she had always done.


	10. Chapter 10

Sissi lay on her bed, thinking about everything she had found out. She idly twisted the chain of her necklace around her neck and then remembered the one she had discarded the night before. Jumping up, she ran to her dressing table and searched through all of the boxes. She found it last where her aunt had put it. Remembering when she woke up in the morning, she looked in the mirror and imitated her aunt; holding it up to the light and watching it twirl around, hypnotically. There was certainly something mysterious about it.

Returning to her bed, she examined it carefully. She noticed some tiny scratches on the gold side of the heart. Curious, she went to her writing desk and restored her attention to the contents of the file. The necklace on one side and the page on the other, she disregarded both and stared at the picture again. There were two more there. She picked them out and looked at them. Something was nagging at her. Where was her father? Surely he should have been in one of those pictures? Had he been away at the time? If he had, it hasn't been mentioned to her. Sissi knew it was a silly detail but she couldn't let it go. Her mother had always told her how much they had longed for her to be born, how they were so proud when she was. Sissi had always imagined her parents together for that moment. Now she wasn't so sure. Maybe her aunt knew. Sissi was wondering about the sudden reluctance to ask when she became aware of footsteps outside her room. A polite knock and a bade entry later, the door opened and Athos leaned his head around the door, enquiring about lunch.

'Lunch? I've just had breakfast!'

'Let's compromise on that. Are you joining us for a meal downstairs soon?'

'I'm not really hungry.'

'No reason to deprive us of your pleasant company.' Athos smiled encouragingly. 'If I can prise you away from your papers.' Sissi thought she might as well. He was glad to hear it.

'I'll come down in a minute' she told him. Athos nodded and closed the door once more. Putting the file away, Sissi tried to shake off the feeling that something wasn't quite right.

Thinking back on it, Sissi didn't know why she hadn't realised it sooner, her aunt's reaction to her questions, the presence of the necklace that had shadowed the background and the way the pictures kept nagging at the back of her mind. If she had read the page sooner, she would have spotted what it was. Below her full name, written out in old fashioned handwriting, were the most obvious details. Mother and father. And not as she knew them.

Her heart felt as cold as ice as she picked it up and read the name that was on her precious paper. She had taken it for granted that Eugenie's name was going to be on there, she hadn't even looked. But catching her eye was something different. Her vision blurred as she read and reread the name. Was this even her file? She must go back and ask about it. The convent must have made a mistake!


	11. Chapter 11

'I can't see the mistake in this' said Sister Constance placidly. 'This is your name, is it not?'

'Yes.'

'And your birth date? Is that a mistake?'

Sissi shook her head miserably.

'My dear, I don't see what the problem is. This is certainly your paper.'

'Then why are the details wrong?'

'Which details, dear?'

Sissi pointed to the offending lines and explained her parents' names. Sister Constance peered at it through her little glasses and hummed under her breath. Sissi could hardly sit still, her nerves were on edge.

'Yes I see what it is.'

'You do?' Sissi nearly jumped from her seat.

Sister Constance looked at her from behind her glasses. 'I suspect someone hasn't been telling you the whole truth' she murmured sympathetically.

Sissi felt mutinous. She knew exactly who.

'And these pictures? Could they have been mixed up with someone else's?'

'It's possible. But as the birth dates and the baby's names are written on the back of them, it is easy to find which one belongs where.' She turned over the pictures to show the numbers and words scrawled in a neat hand. Sissi could only stare at them until her eyes blurred and she had to blink several times. It was her in the picture, no doubt. But who was the girl holding her? And why wasn't it Eugenie?

'Do you need to have a little chat about this?' Asked the elderly nun.

'No thank you.' Sissi tried to keep her voice even. 'I think I need to find my aunt.'


	12. Chapter 12

Feverishly pacing her room, Sissi tried to keep her thoughts together. Eugenie's name was nowhere on her birth paper. Without sparing a glance at the pictures, Sissi knew that it couldn't have been her mother holding that baby. All her details were correct. But how could it be the only thing she could recognise on that paper?

A knock on the door halted her pacing. Milady peeked her head into the room.

'Is everything alright?'

'Yes. Fine.' Sissi returned to her bed.

'Are you upset about something?'

'No.'

Milady hesitated and came in to sit on her bed.

'What is it that you are interested in that you keep going back to La Rochelle? Twice now you've been there this past month.'

Sissi shrugged, not looking at her aunt.

'Did you meet someone? Is there something I should know about?'

Sissi raised her eyes boldly. 'Actually there is. I met someone.'

Milady drew a breath in. 'Who?' She tried to sound casual but her heart beat faster. Had her niece met a man she wanted to elope with?

'I went to the convent there.'

Milady stared at her like she was insane. A convent?

'I met some nuns there.'

'Well you would at a convent' Milady could barely refrain from pointing out the obvious.

'I'm thinking of becoming a nun.'

Milady was lost for words. What on earth was her niece thinking?

'You want to be a nun?' She couldn't help asking incredulously. Sissi let the silence linger for a while.

'No. it was a joke' at last she said expressionlessly. Her aunt looked at her strangely. When did this kind of statement become a joke?

'Are you feeling alright?'

'Fine.' And Sissi said nothing more until she had left the room. Milady started getting worried about how odd her nice was getting.

'She's in a peculiar mood. Since she's come back from La Rochelle, she's been withdrawn, barely talking to me and broods in her room half the time. I asked her about the problem and she told me she was thinking of becoming a nun. Except it wasn't funny. I think I should be worried.'

Athos peered over his wine glass.

'Perhaps it's a phase.' He knew it was pointless asking him. What did he know about young ladies?

Milady fretted for the next few days and a tense atmosphere shrouded the house.


	13. Chapter 13

Sissi curled up on the sofa and resumed thinking about this one thing she had wanted to talk about for some time. But her aunt always deflected the subject somehow and Sissi wanted the truth. She was still in shock about what the file had told her. Eugenie wasn't her mother and only her aunt could tell her who it could be.

'Is everything alright? Is there something you want to tell someone?'

Athos sat by Sissi and waited for something to be revealed. Sissi snuggled into the blanket. 'Or we can just sit here.' They sat in silence for a while.

'If somebody lied to you for a long time, and you just found out, what would you do?'

Athos couldn't think what had brought this on. What did she mean? His mind drew upon a detail he had been complicit in hiding from her but how could she have found out?

'What kind of thing do you mean?' He asked carefully.

'Something important.' Sissi looked at him with those imploring blue eyes and he felt his heart beat wildly. She was on the right track.

'How important?'

'Something that you've believed in your whole life has disappeared and it means nothing anymore.' She looked down and pleated the blanket between her fingers.

One step closer to the truth. She looked up and fixed him with a look he knew so well.

'Was my mother, really my mother?' He drew in a breath.

So she had known then.


	14. Chapter 14

'What do you mean?'

She knew he was fudging the question. He instantly showed himself to be guilty.

'I want to know if Eugenie was my mother.'

'I'm not an expert in matters of your family' he reminded her, guiltily trying to absolve himself of responsibility from this conversation. He knew it would be very soon that she would find out he was lying through his teeth.

'You know, don't you?' She flared up immediately. 'Why won't you tell me?'

'I barely know anything' he defended himself with raised hands.

'But you know it isn't her on the paper.'

Athos blinked, lowered his hands and stared at her incomprehensibly. 'What are you talking about?'

'It's not her name on the paper; it's not her in the picture.'

'Wait a minute. What paper and what picture?' He couldn't understand what she was saying. 'Show me what you're talking about.'

Throwing back the blanket, she run upstairs, took the items and came back with them, putting them on his lap and beseeching him with a look to help her understand. He picked them up, read through the page bewilderedly, glancing at the pictures, not really taking it in. 'What is this?'

'I got it at the convent where I was born. What does it mean?'

Athos then realize why she had been on La Rochelle, to seek out information about her birth. Clearly she wasn't satisfied with the official version of the story. Eyes still on the page, he couldn't work everything out. Hearing footsteps, he and Sissi turned around at the same time to the door.

Milady had entered the room and was staring at them, puzzled at the papers in their hands.

'What's going on?'


	15. Chapter 15

They looked at her; Sissi accusingly and her heart skipped a beat. Athos stood up, the documents in his hands.

'Sissi wants to discuss something with you.'

Milady looked at her niece, alarmed at what the subject might be, sensing the fury that was radiating off of her. Sissi snatched the file and held it in front of her aunt. 'Tell me what this is.' Looking at the paper in front of her, Milady skimmed the first few lines. A cold shadow crept into her heart and clouded her eyes, for a minute all she could see was a grey blur. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe but the darkness swirled in around her.

Sissi's fury abated slightly when she saw her aunt put a hand to her head, eyes closed, seemingly about to faint. Athos ran forward and put a hand on her shoulder. Milady opened her eyes wearily.

'I'm not going to faint, there's no need for that.' There was no humour in that statement. Slowly she sat down, looking at the paper in front of her. Now she knew why Sissi had visited La Rochelle so often in the past month. Making those jokes about nuns. She must have met with the nuns in that Carmelite convent; Milady could remember the place still. Was Sister Anne still there? She had to be to have told Sissi this. She looked up and saw her waiting for an answer.

'Who is she?' Demanded Sissi.

'What woman?'

Sissi gestured to the paper impatiently. 'The woman whose name is on it! The woman who has been listed as my mother. It's not my own is it?' She accused.

Milady's mind went blank for a minute. 'Of course it's...' Then she realised that she was running out options. That the truth was in front of her, printed in old fashioned cursive, enough to force her to live up to the web of lies she had had to spin around Sissi before she was even born. There was no point in pretending she didn't know anything anymore.

Athos drew forward and circled the chair, looking over at the name written on the paper. He was surprised. It wasn't what he was expecting. How could that be? She had all but told him who Sissi's mother was. So why did this not make sense?

'Why didn't she tell me? She never had me at all, did she? It was all untrue!' Sissi shouted. Athos waited for order to be restored but Milady just sat there, staring at her niece with an expression he couldn't place.

'Some other woman had me and she passed me off as her own!' Sissi raged.

'I understand your anger' said Milady, quietly.

Sissi looked incredulously at her aunt. 'Why shouldn't I be? What woman of low standard would give a baby away? And who would take one? My mother. That's who!'

'Don't judge her too harshly, please.' She stared at her aunt in astonishment, at the sudden tears that had sprung to her eyes. Milady was sitting there, a forlorn creature just about to break under confession. 'She had all the best intentions.'

Sissi couldn't speak. She was actually defending her! The woman who had received a baby from another woman's womb. She thought it inexcusable.

'So it doesn't matter that she could have bought me like...a farmyard animal!'

'She never...' Milady stopped short. Without thinking, she was about to give herself away. Sissi noticed.

'She never did what?'

'She never bought you.' Milady's voice was low with a hint of a tremor now. 'Don't ever think that. She loved you.'

'Why did she take me from someone else then?' Whispered Sissi. 'Why did she lie to me all these years?'

'She wanted a child so badly' Milady told her quietly, imploring her to believe her. If she could, she would take the pain away for her but there was no repairing that wound once it had been opened. 'Imagine if you had wanted a child when you couldn't have one. You would do anything to have the chance to be a mother.'

Sissi levelled her gaze, two matching sets of blue eyes fought with each other. Athos couldn't bear the tension in the room, yet he was powerless to stop it. Time flowed as sleek as silk around them and halted all motion. He had a feeling that something was about to shatter the calm that had reigned for so long. The glass lake was about to smash and splinter into everyone's eyes, including him.

Sissi turned her attention to the other woman involved in her destiny. 'So who is this Clarisse?' She demanded.

Milady turned pale.

'Why did she give me up? Why didn't she want me?'

'Sometimes it's just not possible to keep a child' Milady tried to reason with her.

'Then why have one! It would have been better if they were never born. If she didn't want me, then I should never have been born.' Tears were streaming down Sissi's face.

Milady took her niece's tearful face in her hands. 'Don't say that. If you knew just how much you were wanted, you wouldn't say that.'

'Not by her. She must have sunk low for her to give up her own child.'

Milady flinched. Athos felt the need to put his hand over her mouth and stop her but the words were spilling out like sand and he knew that there would be no returning of words once they had been said.

'You don't know what situation she might have been in. Who knows what might have happened for this to come about?'

She heard his voice but barely registered. Her guilt was staring her in the face and she had to acknowledge it. Sissi shook free.

'Possibly she had no choice' Athos carried on relentlessly. 'Maybe she had made a wrong decision. Everyone makes mistakes.' He didn't know why he was defending this unknown person but he felt the need to justify her actions in some way. Sissi stared at him incomprehensibly.

'Perhaps if she had known the price she was to pay, she might not have agreed to it.' Milady murmured. The girl turned on her.

'Did you know her?'

Milady wasn't in a position to deny it.

'A long time ago.'

'Who was she? How did she know my...my mother?' She could barely refer to Eugenie as her mother anymore. Milady was silent. She couldn't bring herself to tell her just yet.

Athos suddenly wanted out, cursing himself for his cowardice. How could he not have realised? Milady had been duplicitous in her identity for so long; he hadn't considered how many times she had changed personas. Seeing his face change, Sissi knew it was a matter of time before her aunt would tell her. Even Athos understood more than her and she couldn't bear it. She cast her mind back to Eugenie's friends but couldn't remember anyone of that name.

'I don't know a Clarisse' she finally said.

Milady looked at her steadily. 'It's my name. My first name.'

She felt the icy cold confession whistle through her as her niece froze to the spot upon hearing this revelation.

Athos knew the floodgates had opened.


	16. Chapter 16

Sissi was the first to speak.

'Your name is Sabine. Not Clarisse. 'This paper tells me I'm adopted. You can't cover it up by pretending. We can't even be related. It's not possible.'

Milady hesitated.

'Why are you lying to me? I know your name. I've always called you aunt Sabine. Why are you telling me something else now?' Sissi was beside herself. Everything was getting in a muddle inside her head and she could barely formulate her sentences.

'I'm telling you because you want to know.' The words were spoken so softly as though not to be heard.

'I _need_ to know!'

'I understand that.' Her voice was low and even, as though willing not to break. 'Clarisse is my first name. I know nobody told you that. They rarely called me that at home. So I didn't see the use of telling you. Sabine is my middle name.'

Athos hadn't known it. Sissi sat down, at a loss at what to think. The roles had reversed and the woman she had thought just a minute ago couldn't have been related to her at all if she'd been adopted, was now breaking up her world as she knew it. Soon all the odd details she remembered from her childhood would start to make sense; Eugenie's distance and disdain for her sister, the occasional comments and her general overbearing nature.

She thought it over and then realised something had rendered all of this a cruel joke. She couldn't think why her aunt would claim the detail on the paper as her own but she was certain she knew it was impossible.

'You can't be my mother.' Her voice shook but her statement was clear. 'I don't know why you're doing this but I know it's a lie.'

Athos looked at Milady in confusion; he was taken aback that Sissi denounced her as a liar. She had admitted the truth and there was no reason to doubt her. He knew that she had never revealed it to anyone which for him protested her innocence even more.

Milady said nothing but her eyes showed her distress at being accused.

'If you were my mother, then I would know before this. I know you're not her.'

Still she said nothing.

'You think Eugenie would tell you if it were true?' Athos rounded on the girl, angry at the accusation.

'How can it be? I would know!'

'That's the point of a secret, for you not to know.'

'_Enough.'_ They turned around to look at the accused. 'I don't want any fighting about this.'

'Tell me why you're lying' she insisted.

'I'm not lying.'

'You can't be my mother' hissed Sissi. 'It's not possible.'

Athos looked at her angrily. 'You still don't believe her?'

'She can't be telling the truth.'

'You think I'd lie about this?' Once more they fell silent, in awe of her. She was standing her ground as calmly as she could and was dealing with Sissi's outbursts with dignity.

'It's not true, is it?' Sissi pleaded with her.

'Would you turn her aside because of it?' Asked Athos angrily.

'She's only fifteen years older than me!' Shouted Sissi.

The truth rang out plain and clear, ringing around the room and silencing him. He hadn't even thought to remember that Milady wasn't as old as him. Was she right? His mind drew back to the earliest memories he had of her and still he couldn't make the connection. He had relegated the secret to the back of his mind and left it there, suppressing his curiosity until it no longer bothered him. He could see that Sissi was on the verge of tears.

'How could you be?' She whispered.

Milady closed her eyes as though to shut it out. 'I'm not proud of it.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I made a promise.'

'Promised?'

'I promised your mother.'

'She wasn't my mother.'

'I promised your mother I wouldn't tell you!' Milady raised her voice.

The silence was deafening. Athos asked gently, 'why did you promise not to say anything?' Milady sank back into the chair, as if she couldn't stand alone any longer. Hiding her face with a shaking hand, she spoke softly again, as though she wished the words wouldn't come true.

'I had to.'

'You didn't have to do anything!' Flared up Sissi again. Athos hushed her with a hand. They waited. Milady faltered on.

'She wouldn't let me see Sissi if I wouldn't promise.'


	17. Chapter 17

Bewildered, Sissi looked at Athos, as though to confirm 'she' was the person they all knew it was.

'Eugenie' he obliged her.

Sissi couldn't imagine how this situation could have come about. That the two 'mothers' in her life would conspire over a baby's future. _Her_ future.

'You made a deal with her to get rid of me?'

Milady looked at Sissi in distress. That the girl she had spent most of her life caring for would turn around and accuse her of trying to get rid of her was too much to bear. The anger at the injustice of it all spilled out before she could control it.

'You think if I was trying to get rid of you, I would have chosen someone a little further away!'

Sissi was shocked at this admission as Milady stopped herself, a hand to her mouth. She felt like everything was unravelling around her and she didn't have the control to halt its speedy decline. While Sissi was speechless, Athos furiously tried to understand it. The silence reigned even more oppressive, crowding round Milady and weighed on her shoulders, hammering through her head until she could take no more and curled up in the armchair, hands over her ears to block out this darkness taking over her. They watched this madness for a moment fearfully, unsure of the power of the malevolent force sweeping over the woman they both knew to be someone else a short while ago.

Athos thought he could make sense of the situation. 'She secured Sissi's future with her if you consented not to tell?'

Sissi hadn't thought of it that way. 'She bargained with you using me?'

'I think its called blackmail' stated Athos grimly.

Milady took her hands away from her ears but still didn't look up. Neither confirming nor denying, her silence was maddening to Sissi who still couldn't understand this crazy turn of events. Bus she couldn't fail to take in the most principle element to all of this, that her mother was not the person she thought she was. She had been right in front of her all along. In spite of that, Sissi felt abandoned.

What hand had taken her real mother away from her while lending her another mother, one whom she had never always fitted with? And how long had Athos known?

'Since the court hearing' he told her. So never while they were married. Had he known secretly that something wasn't quite right? He didn't answer that.

'I never told Athos. It was part of the promise.'

'What if you had?' Sissi challenged her.

Milady turned her gaze to her former husband, their eyes meeting in a confusion of emotion.

'What if I had, Athos?' She asked softly. 'What would you have done?'

He floundered for a moment, trying to rationally think of the options. But he could think of few.

'You see' she continued, 'there was nothing he could do if I had. He would have had to keep silent with me.'

'You could have confronted her' Sissi faced him.

'And what would that achieve?' Asked the quiet voice, cutting through his muddled thoughts. Athos knew she was right. If he had confronted Eugenie about this, he would have been complicit in making sure that his wife would never see her daughter again. And could he have dealt with that?

Could he have dealt with her having a child outside of his reach in the first place? He may as well have repeated his original actions and nothing would have been gained. He knew now that throwing her out of their house and his life had caused nothing but heartache for both of them. He finally realized that in keeping quiet, Milady was giving her daughter a shred of protection. What would have happened to an illegitimate child in that case? Eugenie was not a forgiving woman and Athos could guess that the rest of the family was the same. A girl in that position would have been out on the streets with a baby and nobody would lift a finger to help.

'What would have happened if I had told Eugenie that I knew?'

'I would be back at the convent' she told him bitterly. 'Where else would I be? I'd never see my baby again.'


	18. Chapter 18

She had finally admitted it. Sissi had been her baby for all of one day and only now she had allowed herself to think of her as hers.

The baby in question was staring at her, unable to say anything once again. She knew what happened to girls who had illegitimate babies and she'd never thought that she would be one of them. She looked at her hands and her fingers, stroked her hair. There was nothing, no sign that she was one of those cursed people with their haunted faces who had grown up in the orphanages. If she was the same as them, where was the sign declaring that she was one too? She could barely take it in, the realisation that she wasn't who she thought she was.

'I'm…unacknowledged?'

Milady looked steadily at her.

'It doesn't make you any different from anyone else.'

But it did for a few reasons and one of them was staring at her in the face. Something that was nagging at her, something she hadn't dared to ask until now. She hesitantly voiced her concern. Athos also dared to think of the answer. But he could find none.

Milady said nothing.

'Tell me' Sissi insisted, getting frustrated once more. Athos stayed silent, willing her to say something just to break the tension. Even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

Milady closed her eyes and bent her head as if in prayer. Athos suspected that she was steeling herself for further upset.

'I have to know.' Sissi looked like she was about to cry. She needed to know. In her hand trembled the paper that needed to be explained. Milady lifted her head and looked at her in the eye.

'I can explain.'

'Explain this!' Shouted Sissi, throwing the paper at her. Underneath her name were the words that had made her head spin.

_Father unknown._


	19. Chapter 19

Milady stared at it, tears welling up in her eyes again. She thought it was hard enough before, now things were getting worse. She had blocked it out for many years, barely sparing a thought to the man who had ruined her life and cursed her to the existence she had to endure until now. The mark of shame weighed heavily on her and the ability to face what was coming had abandoned her again. It was too personal, too intimate to reveal so simply, just like that. She had not even begun to think about how to tell Athos, for he never asked and she had kept wearing the band around her shoulder.

Athos had a suspicion about the identity of Sissi's father when he saw her eyes flit quickly to her shoulder and back. It was something to do with what lay under that band, the thing Athos didn't like, even though he had made his peace with it. The unavoidable block in their relationship was down to that but as he refrained from asking, she hadn't told him the circumstances around it. But this sudden bombshell needed a source and his problem solving brain went into overdrive while he tried to sort out the relevance between the brand on her shoulder and the birth of Sissi. There had to be a man involved. But which man could it be that she would involve herself with at such a young age and bring her the indelible punishment on her skin?


	20. Chapter 20

'I didn't know him well.' She didn't look at either of them, fingers curled around the handle of her cup. Athos had called time out and made tea, uncharacteristically for him, he preferred to drink red wine. But this wasn't the time for it. He had used all of the sugar lumps in the bowl, tipping them into each cup with shaking hands. They sat down, Sissi glowering from across the coffee table, Milady using as a barrier against her anger. Athos felt ill equipped to deal with this but it was up to him to restore some calm, he could feel Sissi's nerves fraying in her nervousness. Her feelings veered between disgust that Milady hadn't even known this man before bedding him and anxiety about what she was about to hear. Her aunt had always been so cautious about approaching a person and a situation, was always ready with good advice and conducted her affairs like a lady. How could she have slipped up like this?

'How did you know him?'

'I lived near him, in the same neighbourhood.'

Athos tried to imagine a man courting Milady at that age but he couldn't picture much other than a shadowy figure by the door. He knew he was biased, having only known recently that he wasn't her first but he couldn't imagine it. It didn't seem to make sense somehow.

'How couldn't you have known him?' Milady closed her eyes to Sissi's accusing stare and tone. She chose her words carefully, knowing that however she put it, it would look bad. What had been done was bad; the brand had marked her out to be such a person for that.

'He wasn't a man easily accessible to someone like me.'

Athos stared at her incomprehensibly, the image of a teenage youth had disappeared and a more sinister man had appeared in the picture. What kind of man could she be talking about? His mind flitted between prominent members of society and criminals before remembering they couldn't have been a feature in the provincial town she had spoken of.

'He was someone important?' Sissi had voiced his thoughts uneasily. She was wondering where this was going.

'In a way' she said softly.

'Either he was or he wasn't so let me know which one sometime today won't you' retorted Sissi, voice dripping with sarcasm. But she didn't fool the others who could sense her fear behind the defiance. Milady wanted to reach out to her but knew she would be pushed away.

'He was important in the town. It was a disgrace on both of us when…we were discovered.'

In a flash, Athos had realised what it must be. The man in question must have been married. It made sense all of a sudden. The scandal would have caused them to move her to a convent where she had Sissi and then Eugenie and her husband adopted her, to spare both of them the shame.

'He was married?'

Her eyes flickered to him and looked away, in what? Shame? He knew by the hammering of his heart that he had got it right. Sissi was looking at her aunt in undisguised shock that she was a thoughtless home wrecker, the stupid mistress of an older man.

'In a way' Milady whispered.

'How many ways can there be?' Screamed Sissi at her. 'You bedded a married man and he cast you aside. How does it not matter?'

'I never said it didn't matter!' Milady threw back at her. 'I never said it wasn't important.'

'Then why are you speaking in riddles?'

Athos realised that he wasn't doing a good job of moderating this. But he couldn't bring himself to calm it; he wanted to find out more, to know what was going on. Milady turned to him, as though to accuse him. But she had to reveal the truth, now or never.

'You asked me about it' she said quietly, 'and I couldn't put it off for forever.'

'About what?' Sissi looked at both of them, eyes wide and panicky. Was Athos in on it also? In answer, Milady put down her cup and slowly unfastened the buttons on her blouse looking anywhere but them. Halfway down she slipped the sleeve of her left shoulder down, displaying a white band around it. Athos hadn't thought she would, especially not in front of Sissi. But there was no turning back. Casting a desperate look at Athos, she slowly unpeeled the fabric from her arm, fingers shaking. Sissi didn't know what to expect. It looked like a bandage; she was thinking that a bloodied wound or the scar of one would be there. But imprinted there was something else, something like a tattoo, a symbol? Sissi slowly rose and peered at it for a minute trying to recognise it. Athos had already seen it a couple of years ago but couldn't get used to seeing it in the harsh sunlight, the faded fleur de lis burned on her shoulder, black on white, marring the creamy white skin.

It took Sissi another few moments to realise the distinctive sign of a criminal stamped on her aunt's shoulder. She stared at it willing for it to twist into something else, words or a picture less offensive than the one she was seeing but to no avail.

'What is that for?' She whispered, not wanting to hear the answer. Milady finally looked up at her, her eyes reflecting in the clear bright light flooding the room.

'For consorting with your father.'

'He was a criminal?' The girl asked incredulously.

'He had committed a sin. And me with him.'

'What else could you have done?' Asked Sissi.

'It depended on what he was that afforded the punishment.'

The words stirred something in Athos' memory. It wasn't an uncommon word to use but it was a harsh one. It was a misfortune what had happened but he wouldn't have put it that way. She confirmed it with the missing piece of the puzzle.

'He was my priest.'


	21. Chapter 21

They both stared at her in horror, the ending of the story in sight, or so they thought. Milady averted her eyes to their dismay and steeled herself for the storm to continue raging. She was not disappointed. Sissi knocked her cup over as she stood up to confront her. Hot tea spilled all over the place, drenching Milady's hands with the scalding liquid. She withdrew them with a faint cry of pain, her fingers red and blistered. Athos ran to get her some cold water to soothe them. He could hear Sissi shouting already.

'It just gets better and better doesn't it?'

'Sissi please' she pleaded against her, handkerchief pressed to her hand.

'What else have you done that I don't know about? Did you steal something from the chapel to fund your situation? Convince him to run away with you? Did you think it could work between you?' Her tone was harsh and mocking, taunting her aunt about the possibilities that she could get away with. But Milady was under no illusion that she could make it better by lying. It was the truth or nothing.

'I didn't love him.'

Athos' mind was turning to everything he could think of in double quick time. Had she played with his affections then left him? That made no sense. Surely he would have to claim responsibility for the child. Unless she had confirmed otherwise. but again, he couldn't see how that would benefit any of them.

'So you strung him along.' Sissi sounded bitter.

'No. That's not how it was. He never loved me.'

'Then what is this all about? What did you want with him? Something you couldn't get at home?'

'I never wanted a baby! Not like that. How can you accuse me of manipulating him?'

'I don't know, there seems to be lots of things I don't know about you all of a sudden.'

Milady looked at her angry niece; face flushed and blue eyes blazing. She'd never looked so beautiful but she knew that was a deadly weapon. It could disarm a man as she well knew. Sissi had yet to learn it but she would, in time. Athos urged her to sit and take a deep breath. She did so and resumed her glaring.

'What was his name?'

'Does it matter?'

'Yes.'

'Father Antoine.'

'And?'

'What else do you want to know?'

'Anything.'

'I didn't know him. What more can I tell you?'

Athos interrupted at this point.

'Why him? Sabine, the man was a priest. What good could have come from it?'

She turned on him like her niece before, fixing him with an icy stare that made him regret asking.

'You think I chose him?' She spoke through gritted teeth. 'I would have thought you wouldn't have judged me quite so harshly.' She knew that would make him feel bad but he felt like he'd deserved it this time.

Sissi leaned forward, hand outstretched to the one she had inadvertently burned. It hadn't occurred to her that this might not be as straightforward. Enraged by the lies she had been told, her aunts forefront role in this had shocked her, one of the few people she had trusted all her life. It felt like a betrayal and made her the wickedest person yet. But if her aunt was such a wicked person, surely she would have wanted nothing to do with her?

'So he seduced you and left you?' Athos spoke gently, not wishing to hurt her further.

Milady's eyes narrowed and her mouth twisted bitterly

'If that's what seduction is then women are doomed everywhere.'

'What…do you mean?' Sissi stammered.

Once again Milady hid her face in her hands and stayed silent. They waited. Athos skimmed his hand to her face but she blocked him.

'What do you mean?' He enquired gently.

'I've said too much' she whispered, so quietly that they had to lean forward to hear.

'You've not told me everything' said Sissi curiously.

'What do you want to know! I can't tell you anything more!' Milady raised her head and screamed so violently that the cups rattled and spilled over. She carried on, oblivious to everything but her overflowing anger.

'Nothing I do is ever enough for anyone! You ask the same thing every time and I can't think of any more ways to tell you. What do you want from me?'

'I just want to know why you did what you did!' Shouted back Sissi.

'It's not about what I did, it's about what he did' she raged back.

'What did he do? You still haven't told me' implored the girl, desperate to know why she had been lied to all this time.

Silence took its hold on them. Milady didn't want to say the truth. How could she tell her about it, the source of her shame? And in front of Athos?

'How am I supposed to tell you this when you shouldn't even know?' she asked bitterly, not needing an answer. She couldn't say it. She couldn't even phrase it properly, having only said it once, to her sister. She never spoke of it again.

The question was put to her again. She dropped back into the chair as if exhausted by the might of her anger. She reached for her necklace and twisted it around agitatedly, looking left, away at the window.

'Eugenie never wanted you to know.' The chain rasped against her fingers and tore through the deafening silence. 'She wanted you to know that you were loved and that you were no less than a blessing.'

'To whom?' Sissi responded sarcastically.

'To all of us.'

'So why didn't she want me to know?'

'She didn't want you to think that you weren't wanted.'

'Well I wasn't, was I? Not by you.'

Milady stayed silent, she couldn't deny it. It was a tough reality to handle.

'There was no future for him and I, let alone for you. It was a moment of insanity that cost us all.'

'So why did you do it?'

Milady's eyes threatened to mist over once again. Blinking it away barely helped, she could feel a tear escaping and making a steady line down her cheek. She could barely speak the words but it made itself known, piercing their hearts with the simple truth.

'I wasn't willing.'


	22. Chapter 22

This had to be a sick joke, Sissi thought. This couldn't be it. In her heart she knew her aunt couldn't be lying but she tried to find something that she could say to make it untrue, to reverse herself back in time. Now Sissi knew what she really was to her aunt, not an abandoned child nor even as illegitimate, that didn't matter anymore. She was the thing that every time Sabine looked at her, reminded her of something so hideous. No wonder her aunt had given her up. Sissi felt like she wanted to disappear.

She couldn't even imagine such a thing to happen to her strong willed independent aunt, to be forced into such degradation by above all, a man of the church.

For all his worldly knowledge, Athos was naive to the idea that someone close to him might have a past darkened by this kind of scandal. Athos' knowledge spanned many things, matters political and philosophical especially but of women, his knowledge was woefully lacking.

'Why didn't you tell me?' He tried to reason with her, only realising this was one of the stupidest things he could have said when he said it. What woman wanted to tell her husband about her past and be judged for it the same way everyone else had done? Athos had heard plenty of tales of prominent figures in Parisian society being caught with their maids, mistresses, even their wives sisters, it was nothing new. But having brushed away the laughter and jokes, he had poured himself another glass of wine and forgot about it, consigning it to the wasteland that was everyone else's affairs. He wasn't one for interfering, Athos but in not paying the slightest bit of attention to the details of the stories around him, hadn't thought much about the motivating factors behind it. Hadn't bothered to consider if the woman involved might not have entered into the dalliance of her own free will. There was an ugly word for the other and he had never used it, never having needed to deal with it before. His forte was dealing with forceful violent men; his interest and skills regarding women were almost nil. And that included his former wife, it seemed. The world had been black and white for Athos until Milady had walked back into his life and it was shaking him up to confusion.

Her answer was to perilously throw the cup at his head. He ducked and it smashed unceremoniously in the corner.

'I should have walked away from you the moment you asked me to marry you!'

He knew his insensitivity was weakening her, breaking her down in front of Sissi but he couldn't say anything right, it seemed.

'What would you have thought of me?' She asked bitterly. 'I would be sent back to the convent had you told anyone. They were desperate to get rid of me, they would have agreed on anything to get you to marry me.'

Athos had remembered how keen his about-to-be-sister-in-law was for them to get married. He thought she was just being pleasant. How wrong he was.

'You think I wanted his attention? Those lecherous eyes, his hands, pawing at me!'

'Why didn't you tell them?' Whispered Sissi.

'My precious sister didn't believe me! Who else would have?' Milady tore the cushion next to her apart in her anguish and flung it away, unable to find something to hurt enough. Surrounded by a cascade of feathers melding to her tears, she was a hysterical spirit, wide eyed and distraught.

Sissi didn't know what to say. She remembered her fifteenth year as one of her more spoiled, petted years, just before her parents died. Had her aunt looked upon her with envy? Or had she been happy that Sissi was enjoying her life so freely? Like she had never been able to?


	23. Chapter 23

'As soon as I saw you I couldn't let you go.'

Milady could remember the serene blue eyed baby with tiny starfish hands wrapped up in a yellow blanket like it was yesterday. The grown up child looked at her with those eyes now.

'So why did you?' She whispered. 'Why would you want to keep me after that?' Tears were gliding down her face, crystal droplets that the other woman wiped away with a wiser touch.

'You couldn't have possibly wanted me, why would you love me?'

Milady tried to explain what she could.

'I felt trapped. They were making all of my decisions for me and told me it was for my own good. I wasn't allowed to do anything, that place suffocated me. Right then…I didn't want you. It was impossible to think that I could. You represented the thing I wanted to forget and I hated the way that I had to nurture and bear someone who I couldn't help blame for ruining my life now that he had got away with it.'

Sissi gazed at her through the shimmering veil of tears, the words hurting no less now that they were out in the open. But she knew that her guardian was honest and didn't treat her like a child. That was something she had wanted with her parents and had never got. She motioned for her to go on.

'I had a hard time adjusting to my confinement no matter that I had several months to come to term with it and when the time came for you to be born, nothing was made easier knowing that I had go through it to…to finish my imprisonment. I had already made up my mind not to look at you, in case I might feel…'

'Anger? Hatred?' Sissi could think of a few ways to feel about it. Milady continued slowly.

'I won't lie to you. That's exactly how I thought I'd feel. Sister Anne kept urging me to hold you and I kept refusing.' Sissi looked at her sadly. 'But when she handed you to me, I never thought I'd feel the way that I did when I saw you. When I held you in my arms…you stopped crying and looked up at me.' The tears spilled over before she could finish.

Sissi's heart bounded open and engulfed her aunt's heartache and loneliness.


	24. Chapter 24

Athos retreated to the corner, out of the way. He felt like he was intruding upon this scene meant for Sissi. It wasn't his place to be here but he couldn't bring himself to leave the room, he had to know everything. The hurt and loss reverberated around the room and pounded into his mind. He rubbed his eyes wearily and waited for the storm to subside. No longer angry, Sissi was curled up in a miserable ball against the sofa, Milady beside her. He was happy to be forgotten for the moment.


	25. Chapter 25

'What did you do next?'

'I took you out into the grounds. It was a beautiful day and I played with you in the sunshine. It was like the time had stopped for the day and it was just us in the world.'

'And after that?'

'What do you think? Eugenie came to take you away the next day and I was left alone again for a week or so, while she paraded you round to the new neighbours to show what a pretty baby you were.' The bitterness came back in her voice as she remembered it, the thought of having to watch as her baby was publicly claimed by another, the punishment for having disgraced the family. The only way to cope was to continue as before and love Sissi like an aunt should. Always in the background, always ready to catch her if she fell.

Sissi couldn't imagine it, not having picked up on the feelings her aunt had hidden for so long. She was a child, how could she have known? Sabine was a much better actress than she could ever have realised and yet she still didn't know her, not really. Clasping her aunt's hands in hers, striving to find the connection, she asked something she hadn't thought of before.

'When did you know when I was there? I mean, when you could feel me kick?'

Milady looked at her carefully before replying. She didn't want to scare her. But she had no reason to lie, either.

'What did I know about these things? I was only fifteen. But the day that we were to be punished, that's when I knew you were there. I didn't know it was you at first. He went first and I saw what they did, what they were going to do to me next. And when he screamed, you jumped. I felt you moving around and I was scared. I was in shock. I thought I was possessed, like I needed to be exorcised of some…demon. When it was my turn, you were with me the whole time. But when they branded me, I held my breath, because of the pain. And so did you. I didn't know it then but you held your breath along with me.'


	26. Chapter 26

_She shivered as the wind whipped through her thin dress. Up ahead she could see the executioner heating up the fire. Ice flooded her veins and her heart beat so fast it seemed to burst out of her chest. He could see it too, the merciless branding iron in the sparks of the flames and he cried out for supplication, although she was the only one who heard it. They were about to get what they deserved. _

_Their crime was proclaimed to the skies but she heard nothing, all she could remember was the blood staining her petticoat as she lay on the cold stone floor like a ragdoll after he'd finished with her. Her virgin blood spattered on the cream cotton like a badge of shame. She'd tried burning it in the fire when she ran home but Eugenie had come in and caught her._

_He had gone forward first, that treacherous priest, like the self sacrificing figure he thought he was, throwing her to the lions as well like the coward he was. The black masked executioner pulled out a knife, ripped Father Antoine's sleeve. His shoulder, white against the black looked defenceless and innocent. Pulling the brand out of the fire, the executioner blew on it and approached his victim. Father Antoine was held by the other guard and was helpless to argue. He stared in terror at the looming destiny awaiting him, screaming like a demon as the heat scorched his flesh black._

_She caught her breath, from within her came a flutter too small to detect if it weren't for the stillness of the scene. She almost cried out to alert someone but caught it in time. The guards around her and gripping her arm weren't listening, nor did they care. Again it came and Sabine pressed her lips together desperately trying to contain her terror. What was it? She barely had time to wonder as she was marched up next, the black mask turning to face her, grey eyes emotionless behind the shadow, pulling down her sleeve. She looked at him but could make no connection, she turned back and closed her eyes, heart thumping, waiting for the blow to mark her shame. The pain seared past her delicate skin, through her veins to her heart, she barely had time to breathe while it was burning her deep. The flutter had stopped as she held her breath for what seemed like eternity, not uttering a sound, biting her lip, blood bubbling up and dripping down to her neck while she fought to keep consciousness. For a second she feared she wouldn't be able to hold on but as lightheaded as she was from the pain, she opened her eyes, not seeing the audience before her. How could she have noticed the man who was to be her jailer many years later? Cardinal Richelieu. He was watching her like a hawk. He remembered her. _

_As she was led away she passed her attacker and their eyes met for a second. Enough to show her contempt of him, he had at last the look of a guilty man. Too little too late she knew, as she passed out in her cell a minute later._


	27. Chapter 27

'I resented the way I was thrown in the convent and hidden away. She never made it a secret that I was an inconvenience to her.' Milady rested her head on a cushion; she was tired from all this. She just wanted it to be over. Sissi was now looking at the pictures in the file, the one where she was a bundle in her mother's arms. 'I can't tell you how I was feeling at that moment. I barely knew myself.' And then at the other two, one she could see the same girl with that tiny baby cradled to her. 'Did you know? About these pictures?'

Milady stretched a hand for them. 'I've never seen these before. They must have taken this one while I was outside.' Athos marveled at the simple beauty of the scene, the convent grounds looked like it was on the edge of a forest and the girl and her baby were lying in a patch of daisies. 'You were happy to be out in the air. You woke up and waved your tiny hands around as if you wanted to catch the sun.'

_The sun shone strong outside and Sabine wanted to be out there. She had regained her strength within the hour and insisted on it. Sister Anne came out with her and watched them for a few minutes. The girl lay down in the patch of daisies and laid her precious bundle next to her. They soaked up the sun for a while, one tiny starfish finger clasped in hers, she observing in wonder at the baby that was to claim her heart forever more. Time stood still that day._

The third picture showed Milady on some steps with a sleeping Sissi in her arms. She was leaning against the wall with her eyes closed also, as if she was a statue of the Holy Mother melded into the wall. Milady couldn't remember these pictures; Sister Anne was a sneaky one to have taken them without her knowledge. Perhaps she wanted her to have had some memento for Sissi's first hours. But she had left the convent suddenly and left these behind before she knew it. Something else she remembered from that time was the thing Sissi was wearing under her blouse. The necklace that had given her a shock upon seeing it after so long.

'I got that necklace for my fourteenth birthday. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen.'


	28. Chapter 28

Sissi took it off and held it up as it sparkled in the light. She made to give it to her but Milady refused it. 'It should be yours.' Sissi's eyes shone as much as that half turquoise. Milady remembered those eyes looking at her through the folds of a yellow blanket and nearly lost it again, she turned her head to blink away the tears.

'You were always my little one' she whispered. 'I just could never tell you.'

Their eyes locked and Milady felt like she was back at the minute she held her baby in her arms. She had looked at her then, unnamed baby with serious blue eyes and something cleared the haze. All the pain faded away as she looked at this tiny thing snuggled up in the yellow blanket. The tiny thing yawned and curled a tiny finger on hers, gripped as tight as the tug on her heart. She had fallen in love at the first heartbeat and nothing would change that. Even after all these years.


	29. Chapter 29

Athos and Sissi sat outside; together contemplating. 'You know when you feel like something didn't make sense before and now it has?' Sissi stated the obvious. He nodded. A few things could encompass that.

'It could have never have happened if they were alive.'

Athos looked at her. 'Do you miss them?'

'Yes. But not as much as I used to. Is that bad?'

'No. It just means you're growing up and moving on with your life. They'll always be there in the background. Perhaps now it's time your aunt can take centre stage, so to speak.'

'She's not my aunt though. What shall I call her?'

'In public, aunt will do.'

'What if I want to call her my mother?'

'People will just ask questions. I understand you want to claim her as your mother but for her sake, people will ask questions. What we know is enough. She's been there for you all your life. That won't change.'

Sissi felt peace in her heart at that.

'Not talking about me are you?'

Milady stood at the door, arms folded but she wasn't cross.

'Come and join us.'

She came over to sit on the bench and Sissi curled up with her head on her lap. 'My little girl's all grown up.' She stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head like she did when Sissi was young.

'I'm still yours. Like you're still my mother' said the grown up girl as she flung her arms around her and their world existed around them only for a minute. They could almost see the daisy patch.


	30. Chapter 30

Athos sat the evening out in the garden with a bottle of his favourite red wine. The sky matched the colour in his glass. She sneaked up quietly and wound her arms around him. He tipped back his head to nuzzle her hair and they stayed like this for a minute. Then she came to sit down by him. He offered her his half full glass. She sipped and gave it back.

'I know how this may seem to you.' She gave him an apologetic look. 'You must think I was crazy today.' She dropped her eyes, feeling slightly ashamed. 'But it was like a nightmare that wouldn't stop. Every minute something new was hitting me and I could barely breathe. I feel like I've been run through a mill.'

He who felt less fear in the eyes of a revenging solder had been scared of the emotion and secrets she had been harbouring all these years. It had terrified him, watching her break down like that. 'All your suffering was laid bare and all I did was close my eyes to it.' It was his turn to feel ashamed.

'You weren't to know. I couldn't have told you.'

'But I know now and that is enough.' He put down the glass and went to her. This was not something that came easy to him but now he felt that for her, he could. 'Will you forgive what I did to you? I can't expect you to but I can hope.'

She looked at him for a minute, his brown eyes beseeching her. She almost smiled at that. To think he would ask for her forgiveness after all this time when they had both thought it would be the other way around. She thought it would be never before she'd accept this peace of mind but now that everything was out in the open, she felt she could breathe properly again.

'You silly man' said she, kissing his nose affectionately.


	31. Chapter 31

'I remember her. A young thing she was with red hair. You have hair almost that shade.'

The older nun looked at Sissi and smiled. Sister Anne had kind grey eyes that made Sissi feel comfortable in her presence.

'She was panicked and upset when she came here. Very defiant. Sister Charlotte wanted to discipline her but I insisted she be left alone. The poor child was expecting after all.' She studied Sissi carefully. 'You still have those eyes. Blue as the sky. I remember.'

'What was she like?'

'Your mother was a feisty little thing. She would cheek the superior sisters all the time when she was in the mood for it. And she'd get away with it because she was expecting. I persuaded her to take up knitting. She hated it at first. Made a mess of it and cried over it the first week. Knitted things as lumpy and shapeless as Sister Margaret's bread.' She chuckled. 'But by the time she had you she was a deft hand at knitting baby things, she made you hats and scarves and gloves, all snug as anything.' Sissi remembered those hats and things, these was a picture of her wearing them the mantelpiece when she was little. She couldn't have been more than two years old. How could she have forgotten the knitted woolies?

'She was depressed for much of the time. She used to be outside a lot and wanted the windows open, said she felt like being in a prison. We feared she might try to run away but she was resigned to being here. She never told us who your father was but it wasn't hard to guess he'd not been a gentleman, whoever he was. Taken advantage of the girl and deserted her when she needed someone. Not someone worth waiting for. Thankfully she had no illusions about him, not like some of the girls who had been here, thinking the man was going to marry them. She wanted to get on with starting her life again after having you, she had no other choice. But what it was the hardest to cope with was to give you up once she'd held you. She didn't want to at first, but I persuaded her.'

Sister Anne looked outside, where the girl had lain with her baby that spring day. There used to be daisies there.

'The birth was difficult for her. It's a hard thing to do, especially for someone so young. But she was brave; she stayed strong until the end. Not easy to do. We've had plenty of girls come in to have their babies and not all of them could handle it.'

_She gripped the offered hand as the girl cried out against the pain that was building up and threatening to overpower her, closing her eyes and breathing ferociously through it. Sister Anne hummed softly to calm the girl. The final piercing scream came and rattled the windows but the worst was over as Sister Anne guided the new baby's head. Sabine panted with exertion as she allowed herself to be laid back against the headboard, in time to hear the baby take her first breath into the world but it brought her no relief. The tears kept flowing._

'The look on her face as she saw her sister walk away with you. Almost tore my heart out as well.'

'_She'll never be mine.' Sister Anne tried to console Sabine as much as she could. The girl would give her official name as Clarisse, her first name no matter that she was never really called that. She wanted to distance herself from that baby as her own. But it still hurt to see baby Sissi being borne away by the sister she felt had betrayed her. Eugenie had let her name the baby. Just to feel included. _

'_Think carefully.' A name was an important thing. Sabine chose the name of royalty, Elisabeth. Her baby, now her sister's would at least have a name that made her special in her eyes. _


	32. Chapter 32

'So I named you after a Princess. And then she became a Queen. So I named you right' she concluded, smiling at her daughter, clasping her hands in hers. Sissi's heart leapt so fast she nearly lost her breath knowing how much her mother truly loved her. She never imagined she would be right there beside her again and this time around she would make the most of every minute. They now shared a secret they would keep safe together. The delight they felt at being connected like this now conquered everything, even extinguishing the acid that Eugenie had represented, now being mentioned without bitterness.

Athos watched them covertly from his chair. Bathed in the golden light, Milady and her daughter's hair shone shades of fierce copper; beautiful to his eyes. He closed his eyes, turned his face up to the light and let the unfamiliar feeling of content sweep over him. All of the years of hurt and sorrow had brought him so much more than he thought could ever happen. Fate had led them to this and the malevolent black cloud that had hovered over them had gone.

They waved over to him, wanting him on the grass with them. He got up to join and the sun shone down on them, shimmering hope into their hearts and turning them into travellers of gold.

**A big thank you to all who read my sequel; lilgenious, Mopsa, Anon, Storyloverandteller101, Kaloubet and Gwen. I will now leave Milady and Sissi be with Athos, this story is now wrapped up happily enough. Thankfully it wasn't as long as the other one and I hope it was to your liking!**


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